This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
