I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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