So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
