Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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