I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
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dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
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I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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