people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
