You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
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the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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