my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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