I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
