sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Buhtt sex?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
