The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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