Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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