The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
