And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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