Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
