Hey man sorry I got all grabby
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
