I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
