He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
