I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Blood and glitter go together right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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