Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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