I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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