dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
