oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i dont even know how to be here
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You ruined the universe
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
