if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
