Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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