I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
