I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
