Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
it hurts more in the daytime
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
