I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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