I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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