I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
