i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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