my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
