Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
