I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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