Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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