get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
