I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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