Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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