I'm gonna have a badass scar
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
