I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
