You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
