btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
