was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Everclear isn't food dammit
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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