so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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