when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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