and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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