He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
