as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
