I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
