do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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