Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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