I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
