Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
