Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
