the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
