What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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