i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
