It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
