Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
