My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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