i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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