No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
