Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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