goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
